Mixed Media
FIRST PERSON PERSPECTIVE VIDEO
(Tablet is attached to my head for this one, natural tremors left my hands out of the options)
In the critique I received, I gave a short explanation of the project. I was asked why there was to be Christmas lights inside, what the cloth on the outside signifies, why the outside is so ragged. She understood the puzzle pieces are often used to signify autism, but asked the personal significance. Asked what specifically the puzzle pieces represent.
Since I stated the inside will be interactive, she asked how it will be interactive, how the viewer will interact in order to have a better understanding of autism. She also asked that outside of the fact that I have autism, how this is personal. She asked what I am trying to say about me that I would like someone who views this project to understand.
She said that if she had the chance to view the inside, she would have a better understanding of the ideas I was trying to express.
All she had to base most of the critique on was the little bits I completes thus far, and the planning sketches. I was still able to answer plenty and get insight on better improvement of the project, even with the little she had to work with. And so, here's the response to the critique:
The lights inside were not only meant to illuminate the inside, but the dimness and colors are also very calming. The cloth is merely to make sure no outside light came in, as well as to support the “blanket” of puzzle pieces that is meant to be there. She said it was rushed, probably because my incompetence and difficulty with schedule combined had given me so little time to toy with the materials that it came out so ragged.
With the puzzle pieces not only used to signify autism, but also to express personal messages, I could have strung some together before the critique. Most often, people ignore their ability to string pieces together. I can string a lot of pieces together as an autistic, more able to communicate with and understand those with more severe cases. I was born with the long end of the stick. Although I am disabled in other areas, I ended up with the end where I learn and adjust quickly, have stronger literacy skills, and read people better than most others. It’s because of this that I can appear normal, even though my communication skills with “normal” people are lower. Because of this, I can string pieces together and make a string of communication between both sides.
Because of the areas that calm an autistic, I put them in this piece, so outsiders can experience it for themselves, no matter how uncomfortable THEY are.
All of this changed my project because of the presentation pieces I am obviously missing, especially with direct idea representation and understanding. Evidently, there are many aspects in the project that need some fine-tuning and edits, perhaps adding new ideas and details to it will help. I will be reworking this project and its ideas as I go along.
Since I stated the inside will be interactive, she asked how it will be interactive, how the viewer will interact in order to have a better understanding of autism. She also asked that outside of the fact that I have autism, how this is personal. She asked what I am trying to say about me that I would like someone who views this project to understand.
She said that if she had the chance to view the inside, she would have a better understanding of the ideas I was trying to express.
All she had to base most of the critique on was the little bits I completes thus far, and the planning sketches. I was still able to answer plenty and get insight on better improvement of the project, even with the little she had to work with. And so, here's the response to the critique:
The lights inside were not only meant to illuminate the inside, but the dimness and colors are also very calming. The cloth is merely to make sure no outside light came in, as well as to support the “blanket” of puzzle pieces that is meant to be there. She said it was rushed, probably because my incompetence and difficulty with schedule combined had given me so little time to toy with the materials that it came out so ragged.
With the puzzle pieces not only used to signify autism, but also to express personal messages, I could have strung some together before the critique. Most often, people ignore their ability to string pieces together. I can string a lot of pieces together as an autistic, more able to communicate with and understand those with more severe cases. I was born with the long end of the stick. Although I am disabled in other areas, I ended up with the end where I learn and adjust quickly, have stronger literacy skills, and read people better than most others. It’s because of this that I can appear normal, even though my communication skills with “normal” people are lower. Because of this, I can string pieces together and make a string of communication between both sides.
Because of the areas that calm an autistic, I put them in this piece, so outsiders can experience it for themselves, no matter how uncomfortable THEY are.
All of this changed my project because of the presentation pieces I am obviously missing, especially with direct idea representation and understanding. Evidently, there are many aspects in the project that need some fine-tuning and edits, perhaps adding new ideas and details to it will help. I will be reworking this project and its ideas as I go along.
INSPIRATION
When deciding how to play this out, I decided to use Van Gogh as my artistic inspiration, placing the pieces of the soda boxes (cut to the shape of puzzle pieces) in a way that seems like Van Gogh designed it.
On the outside, I wanted it to look like a junk sculpture, but on the inside, I wanted it to be interactive, something to help outsiders (those without the issue) understand what is needed of insiders (those who struggle with the issue).
I didn't have a particular inspiration when it came to the structure itself. That was just a part that was played by ear.
I wanted to take apart the soda boxes, cut them in the shape of puzzle pieces, and weave them to look like Van Gogh made them. It is easier said than done, and Van Gogh has his own style that is hard to mimic. It would still be harder to paint his style than to cut and weave it. This was one of the main reasons I chose his style.
Another reason I chose his style is because of how stimulating it is, really. His style definitely stands out to sensitive eyes. And it's also almost visually calming to certain people for that reason.
I was even more inspired by my own experiences. Growing up, because of my 4 mental disabilities, I was often called a demon and a monster, but bullied by my peers in middle school, which had caused many life events (which I eventually became glad to have for reasons few people understand). It took a long time to control myself, hide my flaws as best as I can, without shutting the world away once again, possessed with fear and rage, consumed with pride and greed and envy and anger. This experience shaped this idea because of the way autistics are judged and treated. We don't suffer from autism. We suffer from the way we're treated. Because of my personal experiences, I learned to manipulate my "conditions" to my advantage. I used my ADHD to hyper-focus, combining it with the autism that has given me an excelled learning pace, learning and adjusting quickly. Also combining those same conditions, I am safest of everyone. I hear all sounds all at once because of ADHD, and hear even the quietest sound because of my autism. Even with blasting music in the city, I can hear cars and people around me. These experiences also play a part in this project.
The other 2 "disabilities" have also played a major part in my life and emotional strength, but do not play a part in the project. Rather, they have helped me to survive for a decade before learning to live instead. The experiences with those have lead up to today and creating the project, but the biggest focus is on autism.
I have always felt that only those with autism can understand what we truly suffer from. It's the reason I get so angry when people use "autistic" as an insult. I can't fix those people, but I want to help outsiders understand small parts of autism. As someone who got the long end of the stick, I can appear normal and only fall behind my peers through recklessness, not because of my conditions. If I choose to allow them to limit me rather than help me, that's my choice. I wanted to have as normal of a life as I could, and as a result, I learned along the way how others perceive certain groups, most often perceive the group the same way. In this case, these people view everyone with autism as retarded (by definition, too). I can't show them otherwise very well, but I can show some level of understanding.
Those with autism tend to feel cornered and trapped in large spaces, have what's called a "full sensory overload" in crowded, especially enclosed (ex.high school hallways), areas. The noise is trapped, nowhere to go, and comes in all at once, overwhelming the autistic. Environment also plays a major role. It's easy for an autistic to create something calming for an autistic that non-autistics can interact with. The lighting I chose, colors, space, everything, was based around autism. I used my own experiences with other people, both when I learned how to appear more normal as I went, and when I didn't know why I was hated. My experience with people and with autism are what inspired and shaped this project the most.
On the outside, I wanted it to look like a junk sculpture, but on the inside, I wanted it to be interactive, something to help outsiders (those without the issue) understand what is needed of insiders (those who struggle with the issue).
I didn't have a particular inspiration when it came to the structure itself. That was just a part that was played by ear.
I wanted to take apart the soda boxes, cut them in the shape of puzzle pieces, and weave them to look like Van Gogh made them. It is easier said than done, and Van Gogh has his own style that is hard to mimic. It would still be harder to paint his style than to cut and weave it. This was one of the main reasons I chose his style.
Another reason I chose his style is because of how stimulating it is, really. His style definitely stands out to sensitive eyes. And it's also almost visually calming to certain people for that reason.
I was even more inspired by my own experiences. Growing up, because of my 4 mental disabilities, I was often called a demon and a monster, but bullied by my peers in middle school, which had caused many life events (which I eventually became glad to have for reasons few people understand). It took a long time to control myself, hide my flaws as best as I can, without shutting the world away once again, possessed with fear and rage, consumed with pride and greed and envy and anger. This experience shaped this idea because of the way autistics are judged and treated. We don't suffer from autism. We suffer from the way we're treated. Because of my personal experiences, I learned to manipulate my "conditions" to my advantage. I used my ADHD to hyper-focus, combining it with the autism that has given me an excelled learning pace, learning and adjusting quickly. Also combining those same conditions, I am safest of everyone. I hear all sounds all at once because of ADHD, and hear even the quietest sound because of my autism. Even with blasting music in the city, I can hear cars and people around me. These experiences also play a part in this project.
The other 2 "disabilities" have also played a major part in my life and emotional strength, but do not play a part in the project. Rather, they have helped me to survive for a decade before learning to live instead. The experiences with those have lead up to today and creating the project, but the biggest focus is on autism.
I have always felt that only those with autism can understand what we truly suffer from. It's the reason I get so angry when people use "autistic" as an insult. I can't fix those people, but I want to help outsiders understand small parts of autism. As someone who got the long end of the stick, I can appear normal and only fall behind my peers through recklessness, not because of my conditions. If I choose to allow them to limit me rather than help me, that's my choice. I wanted to have as normal of a life as I could, and as a result, I learned along the way how others perceive certain groups, most often perceive the group the same way. In this case, these people view everyone with autism as retarded (by definition, too). I can't show them otherwise very well, but I can show some level of understanding.
Those with autism tend to feel cornered and trapped in large spaces, have what's called a "full sensory overload" in crowded, especially enclosed (ex.high school hallways), areas. The noise is trapped, nowhere to go, and comes in all at once, overwhelming the autistic. Environment also plays a major role. It's easy for an autistic to create something calming for an autistic that non-autistics can interact with. The lighting I chose, colors, space, everything, was based around autism. I used my own experiences with other people, both when I learned how to appear more normal as I went, and when I didn't know why I was hated. My experience with people and with autism are what inspired and shaped this project the most.
RESEARCH
I also needed to research how to put all these pieces together properly, as I had some very different materials.
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Table
D, Eric. "Make a Table." WikiHow. WikiHow, 22 Feb. 2017. Web. 22 Feb. 2017.
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Table
D, Eric. "Make a Table." WikiHow. WikiHow, 22 Feb. 2017. Web. 22 Feb. 2017.
I had to use building techniques for my project here, and had to use techniques other people have used. It was harder to find those who have only used basic building techniques, nothing fancy. I also do not have cutting and sanding materials and tools, so that made my research even more limited, as pretty much EVERYONE used electronic tools every step of the way.
I have liked Van Gogh for a while now, and now that I am going without paint, but weaving instead, I could do a better depiction of his work, and decided to use it in this project, using the woven puzzle pieces to make a design similar to his style. I also found this design to be very calming, but also very fun to do.
I also had to look up some guides for weaving a design the way I intended to make. I also had to look up how to safely attach lighting to the inside of my structure.
I also had to look up some guides for weaving a design the way I intended to make. I also had to look up how to safely attach lighting to the inside of my structure.
I was looking at some knots to use for this one. As the outside of the project will have pieces woven on them, I needed to also knot them. My intention is also to "reveal" the felt underneath the "curtain" of pieces. As I ran low on materials, I changed some plans, and spaced out the pieces, even changed the design of the project entirely. The original design did not have the ribbon for autism. It was a calming design with strong colors in a Van Gogh style. But with my proportions being off (I was tired and messed plenty up, this was just the one that had the biggest effect on the project as a whole), I had to change this entire part.
I had to look this one up only because my brain completely died and I couldn't remember how to use the screw gun. Although this isn't the model I used, I did finally figure out why it wasn't working.
Plenty of times, I tried to screw something in with the switch on "reverse", or tries to remove a bit or rose wrong, didn't remember how to tighten the bits in, change them out. The biggest moment for me was forgetting how to charge the battery, a very vital piece for making a device work. So this entire thing was because I forgot how to use this despite using it less than a week before continuing work.
Plenty of times, I tried to screw something in with the switch on "reverse", or tries to remove a bit or rose wrong, didn't remember how to tighten the bits in, change them out. The biggest moment for me was forgetting how to charge the battery, a very vital piece for making a device work. So this entire thing was because I forgot how to use this despite using it less than a week before continuing work.
PLANNING
This is the main idea I had. I ended up planning for this one specifically. I liked the way I could make it interactive. And in finding the right materials, I could make it big enough to crawl into.
I looked into the materials I would need, and started trying to figure out how to collect those materials.
I had a few other ideas for this project as well.
Another idea I had was not a junk sculpture at all, but other forms of Mixed Media, but I wanted to give myself a margin for error, and ended up choosing the junk sculpture.
My plans changed multiple times as more mistakes came up. I didn't plan ahead my cat going on top of my project. Some of the hooks for the lights inside broke when the roof caved in, major parts of the project were also torn. All of these changed plans in the project. I made different plans entirely and also made some things up as I went along, mainly the hooks on the inside for the lights.
I looked into the materials I would need, and started trying to figure out how to collect those materials.
I had a few other ideas for this project as well.
Another idea I had was not a junk sculpture at all, but other forms of Mixed Media, but I wanted to give myself a margin for error, and ended up choosing the junk sculpture.
My plans changed multiple times as more mistakes came up. I didn't plan ahead my cat going on top of my project. Some of the hooks for the lights inside broke when the roof caved in, major parts of the project were also torn. All of these changed plans in the project. I made different plans entirely and also made some things up as I went along, mainly the hooks on the inside for the lights.
EXPERIMENTATION
At first, I was trying to nail the project by hand, and it took an hour and a half to successfully get 2 nails in, so I went out to get some help from a family member with power tools. I thought I could do the entire structure alone, but it took a second hand to hold up these pieces. At one point, when I was using a screw gun to attach 2 of the pieces together, I had drilled a hole to place the screw, but ended up drilling the hole at an angle, and the screw ended up going over the piece of wood. At the last steps of the structure, too, there was a problem. One side of the project was taller than the other when putting the last piece on came in, and so the last piece was attached at an angle instead.
The first draft of this project was all I had "halfway through", and it turned out.......undesirable. It was really sloppy because I had failed to get all of the needed materials.
I had the wood, the cloth, the cardboard, the work space, the hammer.....and forgot to get nails.
I didn't have time to get them, I I started taking some out from the wood, and staples that were in the furniture pieces previously, in an attempt to hold everything together. It wouldn't hold, and I gave up that day and used strong tape. For now.
In this time period, I hadn't done proper research yet on building it, either, which didn't help my case in this failed attempt at doing a project.
Knots were also a vital part, as well as sizing and environment.
I rearranged my bedroom furniture 4 times to find the best spot for this project, and the originally installed blue lights died. Without time to find another set, I took apart a small decorative tree to detach the lights that came attached to the tree, and hooked them up in my project in the middle of the night.
I had the wood, the cloth, the cardboard, the work space, the hammer.....and forgot to get nails.
I didn't have time to get them, I I started taking some out from the wood, and staples that were in the furniture pieces previously, in an attempt to hold everything together. It wouldn't hold, and I gave up that day and used strong tape. For now.
In this time period, I hadn't done proper research yet on building it, either, which didn't help my case in this failed attempt at doing a project.
Knots were also a vital part, as well as sizing and environment.
I rearranged my bedroom furniture 4 times to find the best spot for this project, and the originally installed blue lights died. Without time to find another set, I took apart a small decorative tree to detach the lights that came attached to the tree, and hooked them up in my project in the middle of the night.
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PROCESS
Because the sides of this dresser were waterlogged, it was easy to cut away at it. I can make a groove around the backboard to dig out an end, easily pulling out the staple there, and then pulling the rest of it out.
As seen here, it made quite a mess, with sawdust and staples scattered everywhere, in the kitchen, directly in front of the back door (which had to be locked while this was done for safety reasons)
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I had found some old furniture when looking for wood-like materials or wood for the project, and looked for some of this dresser to salvage. The backboards were pretty much the only salvageable parts of the dresser, while the vanity I found was almost 100% salvageable. I pulled out the staples and carefully pried the backboards from every piece, pulled out everything, as neatly as possible, although there were some mistakes made.
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I then made my work space by rearranging the furniture in my room. I collected more materials through coworkers, family, friends, and acquaintances. I collected soda boxes, cloth of any kind, a hole punch, some yarn, scissors, Christmas lights, beanbag chairs, cardboard, nails, some pillows, all that.
I made a basic structure to work with, as this was mainly meant to hold a structure supported by walls. The plan was to make the structure, and cover the sides in cardboard, then nail or staple the cloth and cardboard in. After that, I was to cover the top and sides with the Van Gogh-inspired design with the soda box puzzle pieces, as well as a cloth to support the puzzle pieces.
Many aspects of my project have changed.
I made a basic structure to work with, as this was mainly meant to hold a structure supported by walls. The plan was to make the structure, and cover the sides in cardboard, then nail or staple the cloth and cardboard in. After that, I was to cover the top and sides with the Van Gogh-inspired design with the soda box puzzle pieces, as well as a cloth to support the puzzle pieces.
Many aspects of my project have changed.
With 3 weeks straight of almost no free time, the due date sneaked up too fast. The day before the project was due, I still only had a few hours to work. I tried to put the structure together, cover it in felt. Without having gotten proper nails, nothing was working. Eventually, to hold it together, I was using a strong tape to hold the structure together. In panic, it came out as A structure. It was.....something at least. Even if it wasn't very stable yet.
I had a problem getting my materials at first (mainly nails, a very vital material for building) and had to use the staples already in the broken furniture. As a beginner, this made is very difficult to look neat, and I ended up using an adhesive and cardboard to hold it up temporarily. Then I took everything apart to start over, this time with the nails, and it started to come out much neater as I built the basic structure. It took some time, but it came out much neater, and I changed up some of the structure to fit all the pieces I had available to me. It was easier said than done.
After using the pnaumetic nail gun to fix some pieces up and attach some reinforcement pieces of the structure, I used a jigsaw to cut off some of the base to fit better with the structure, and cut some corners off some of the pieces to fit it diagonally, using a carpenter square to make straight lines for the jigsaw cutting.
Eventually, all the pieces came together.
Eventually, all the pieces came together.
After cutting a few hundred puzzle pieces, I took a pair of nail scissors and neatened the edges and shape, and hole punched each individual piece, one by one.
This is when I finished constructing the interactive box.
I attached the cardboard to the sides, attached lights to the inside, and attached a cloth to the outside, and then places beanbag chairs to the inside.
I had never done ANYTHING like this before, so it took multiple attempts for hours in a row to get everything right, without help, with a change in materials from nails to merely a screw gun and some waffle head screws.
I attached the cardboard to the sides, attached lights to the inside, and attached a cloth to the outside, and then places beanbag chairs to the inside.
I had never done ANYTHING like this before, so it took multiple attempts for hours in a row to get everything right, without help, with a change in materials from nails to merely a screw gun and some waffle head screws.
I had also then planned to use very small and thin nails to attach cardboard to the outside and inside of the structure for safety and comfort, and then attach the lights on the inside, attach the beanbag chairs and pillows and blanket, then adjust the outside.
I used soda boxes for this next step: cutting the puzzle pieces. I drew the piece shapes and cut them out, making hundreds of pieces, using a hole punch to cut the holes for weaving, then wove them together with yarn to make a "curtain" with a Van Gogh-like design across it.
The BIGGEST mistake I made was with my cats. I hadn't covered the project on the top. One of my cats is heavy, and found himself comfortable ON TOP OF my project, causing the "roof" of it to cave in, and he tore apart the "curtain" when I was halfway through. As I finished less than a week before the due date, this was a major setback. I had to redo the "curtain" altogether, and fix the "roof", cutting it close to the deadline. Having to pull late nights and all-nighters for days in a row, working for 48 hours straight on the weekend, pulling late nights through the following school week. A due date's a due date, after all. Normally, I would have thought that ahead, but hadn't, and that thoughtless mistake caused a setback that affected my ability to function, do any physical work (which had been......bad, to say the least), and took away my chill time after weeks of piled stress. All it took was one tiny mistake, and everything fell apart (some of it literally).